Last Friday some of my co-workers and I went to see the new Rolling Stone’s movie “Shine A Light” in IMAX on its opening night. The only place local showing it in IMAX was the Air and Space Museum located in northern Virginia in Chantilly (not to be confused with the one in downtown D.C. off the mall).
This was to be the first part of two in the planned bachelor party festivities for one of the guys; the second part being bar-hopping in Bethesda until the wee hours. After work We all piled in the car (five guys in an old Corolla, tight fit), picked up sandwiches for later (to go with the beer already in the cooler in the trunk) and headed for the IMAX theater.
Friday afternoon on 495 is never a drive you can calculate with any degree of accuracy, so we left ourselves a couple hours to get there and figured if we were early we would tail-gate in the parking lot as if it were an actual concert. By some freakish chance there was very little in the way of traffic on the beltway and we managed to get there from Rockville in about 45 minutes.
This left us just over two hours to kill. We had sandwiches and 24 Sierra Nevada’s in the trunk so this didn’t feel like a problem. The huuuge lot was mostly empty and what few cars there were seemed to be leaving with the trickle of people coming out of the building. (As it turned out the museum part of the building closed at 5:30, approx. when we arrived.) We were unsure whether we would get hassled about the beer or not, but there weren’t many people around so we broke out the food and cracked some beers.
We stood around eating, drinking and just talking for a bit and one guy took some pictures, we were in no way causing trouble. About the time we were finishing our second beer we saw about a half dozen security types exit the front entrance of the building. We eyed them warily, but they all piled into a van and drove off. We joked that they were coming for us (the way into the parking lot involved driving from the front of the museum around three of the four lengths of the large rectangular lot, and then entering the lot itself. Not a great layout.) As we watched they were indeed making their way around the rectangle at about the same time we decided to head inside and pick up tickets.
As we mounted the steps into the building they actually turned up the row where we had parked, but by then we were nearly in the building. At this point it seemed pretty likely that they were coming to see us, but we kept going. The fact that they chose to drive alllll the way around the lot in their little van rather than walk right up to us made me think of them as the Keystone Cops.
When we entered the building the security there stopped us and told us we had to wait. We waited as the guys from the parking lot made their way in and asked us faux friendly if we had been drinking out in the parking lot. We were forthright and truthful admitting we had a couple beers, tail-gaiting you know, but that we put the empties in the trunk, we weren’t drunk, and we weren’t causing any trouble for anyone. We were just there to see the movie. At this point we were informed that alcohol is not allowed anywhere on government property (we all thought the Smithsonian was privately owned. Guess not.) We apologized for not knowing this and assured them that we were inside for the duration and would not be doing anymore drinking until later in the evening after we returned to Bethesda.
They seemed to accept this and let us go in to pick up our tickets. As I was picking up our pre-ordered tix from the pretty girl at the counter, the lead security guy came back up to us and asked if there was anymore beer in the car (which we denied) and whether there were empties in the car. We responded that there were empties in the trunk. He said those needed to be removed from the area. He went back out with a couple of the guys to check that the empties were removed. Those of us inside knew that the liklihood was high that he would want to look in the cooler and would see the unopened brewskies.
We walked around and waited for awhile and eventually the guard came back inside. He said that there was still beer in the cooler (surprise!) and our friends would have to drive off the grounds and throw the beer out before they could come back. We thanked him and continued to pace, wondering about the ultimate fate of the beer in question. Would they just throw it out like so much garbage? Would they stash it somewhere where we could pick it up again later? Or in an orgy of defiance would they simply pound down as many of the beers as they could before ditching the rest and returning?
As it turned out one of the guys did indeed pound a beer before they placed the beer in a bag and hid it in a garbage can to be retrieved later. It was carefully covered so as not to be disgusting when retrieved later. Upon arriving back at the museum they were also hassled about walking on the wrong side of the divider ropes (there was NO ONE in the place, so it didn’t matter whether they came in the IN or the OUT) and of all things, that chewing gum was not allowed inside and that one fellow would have to get rid of his gum. Needless to say by the time they got back to us they were quite pissed and ready to leave.
They were convinced to stay and we began wandering around waiting for the moment when we would be allowed in the theater. We amused ourselves by smack-talking the guards and museum and thinking of new ridiculous rules they could apply (happiness will not be allowed inside the theater, please abandon all hope ye who enter here…) Eventually it was time and we filed into the theater and sat down for what we hoped would be a performance that would justify the crap we had just endured.
Well it was pretty worth it in my book. The film started off displaying smaller than the maximum size capable of the six-story screen as it showed Martin Scorsese and the Stones trying to prepare for the shows that would be represented in the film. This was sometimes amusing, particularly when it was said that the lights they were using would burn Mick Jagger if he stood beneath them for more than 18 seconds. Before long it was showtime and as the first notes of “Jumping Jack Flash” rang out the film expanded to fill the entire monstrous screen.
These guys may be getting up there, and maybe certain people don’t always play or sing in key/time, and maybe Keith Richards looks like he was dug up from a crypt only minutes before showtime, but these guys still rock the house down. And holy crap can Mick Jagger move amazing for a guy in his 60s. He seemed to be just as agile and funky as he was 40 years ago. They didn’t play a lot of the songs I expected to hear, maybe because they’ve already done them for other live films, but the songs they did were great. They had a little help from Jack White, Buddy GUy and Christina Aguilera as well. Repeatedly throughout the film I caught myself about to clap at the end of a song, and I had to remind myself I wasn’t actually at the show. Between the larger than life screen and the near concert-level sound coming from the speakers I really felt like I had just witnessed the show.
Walking out of the film I found myself to be very thirsty (the theater was an oven) and was ready to begin Olympian feats of drinking. We crammed back into the car and after a few minutes decided to chalk up the trash-can-beer as a loss and head directly for Bethesda bars. We drove back to the hotel that one of the guys was staying at and took a hotel shuttle down to Rock Bottom in Bethesda.
I’d never been to this establishment before, but they had good beer and good appetizers, so I was happy. The first few beers went down fast and tasty. Soon a truly awful band (especially when compared with the one we just saw) started playing truly awful and uninspired cover versions of songs I might have previously enjoyed in their original incarnations. It was better to just talk over them and pretend they weren’t there (their version of Prince’s “Darling Nikki” should have been a jailable offense.) A few beers further down the path we were starting to think about heading somewhere else. Suddenly, a flurry of chaos erupted.
We were sharing the opposite ends of a long table table with several other people. There were two guys and a blonde girl whose top was practically non-existant and pretty much displayed what little resources she had. All of a sudden, at their end of the table, it seemed like there were four or more guys going at it like someone had just fumbled the football (or maybe more like rugby based on the punches flying). The two guys at the other end of the table were caught up in the whirlwind of action. One was a short little muscular Asian guy who landed at least one really good punch on the jaw of a guy a good foot taller than him. The guys mouth exploded in blood covering the little Asian guys white t-shirt. One of the guys ran out of the bar, follwed by someone chasing him. It all happened with in the space of a minute or so. It went on slightly longer than most fights usually take to break up. Apparently more fighting went down outside and one guy even threw punches at the cops that arrived. I asked the blonde what happened and she said she didn’t know; we speculated to ourselves that it probably had to do with inappropriate comments made about her attire. We lost one of our group here as his fiance was there with some of her friends and offered to drive him home. There were still two cop cars out front when we left to head around the corner to Harp & Fiddle. I only saw one guy cuffed and stuffed though.
The Harp & Fiddle is a nice little Irish bar around the corner from Rock Bottom. I’d been there once before for a recent work-related dinner. One of our guys is a regular of the place so we went there on his suggestion. There was a much better singer there, just a guy with an acoustic guitar, who sounded rather like Mark Knopfler in my opinion. He did some U2 and Warren Zevon and unfortunately ended his set shortly after our arrival.
Midway into our first drink at Harp & Fiddle an older bearded fellow a few stools down the bar suddenly couldn’t contain himself any longer and proceeded to vomit all over the bar. He looked around sheepishly wiping his mouth as if to say “Did I do that?” I wasn’t looking in that direction to catch the action shot (probably good, I may have followed suit) but I saw the results. Lovely. Once again unusual circumstances had followed us on our trek.
Seemingly of his own accord the bartender (who knew our guy) lined us up some shots of Irish whiskey. There was one extra shot for some reason, so we all did our shot and I promptly grabbed the extra shot and did that one too. After finishing off another beer the place was starting the close down for the night. One of the guys threw the bartender some excessive cash and he lined us up more shots of what turned out to be Jack Daniels. Let me just go on record as saying Jack Daniels is piss. But we drank it anyway (one guy hated it so much he threw up in his mouth after drinking it, but he at least contained it and didn’t cause a scene like the other guy did.) Again there was an extra shot, but I didn’t go for it and passed it on to one of the other guys.
By this point we were (or at least I was) pretty in the bag. After an amusing visit to the men’s room I stumbled outside to find some of the other guys talking to three girls who had been on the opposite side of the bar from us. One guy easily prompted them to pose seductively with the bachelor of honor for photos and before long we found ourselves standing around chatting about which sex you would choose (if you would choose) if your baby was born with both sexes. Realizing this was the right time to leave we left the women there and hopped into a cab that was idling conveniently behind us on on the curb and headed back to the hotel. All of us but Harp & Fiddle regular hopped out (he continued on to pick up his car elsewhere) and went into the hotel.
It wasn’t long before someone who lived nearby suggested we go back to his place where more beer could found. By this point it was probably 3 in the morning, but we were game so off we went. It wasn’t until halfway there that it occurred to me that the guy might not be capable of driving safely. Luckily he drove fine and in a few minutes we were back to his place.
We treaded lightly as there is a new baby in his house and ended up in his kitchen preparing more drinks. We polished off some Johnnie Walker shots and then got back into the beer. We listened to some music and chatted for awhile and started winding down. A cab was ordered for 5:30 for one guy who had an 8-ish flight out of Dulles back to California where he lives. Shortly after 5 we all started falling asleep where we sat.
…………time passes
Around 6:30 I wake to sound of someone cursing quietly. No one heard the cab call when it arrived and our guy was now quite late to get to the airport for his flight. Another cab was called and seemed to magically appear instantly. (He ended up barely making his flight.) We all fell back in our chairs and slept for a couple more hours.
From here it gets rather typical. After trying to stomach some morning coffee for my aching head I ended up doing my imitation of the Harp & Fiddle guy, only I managed to get it all into a proper receptacle. However when I switched ends and sat on the pot I ended up somehow breaking the guys toliet seat. Snapped it clean through on one side. So I had to sheepishly admit to that and offer up payment for a new one. I got a ride back to my car and found my way home again around 11 a.m. I cast off all plans for the day (leaving my wife to go to a wedding shower in Arlington on her own. Sorry hon.) and after taking a shower climbed into bed for some recuperative sleep. What a night.
I’m in the middle of transitioning all my reviews from my other site (heavymetalreviews.com) to this one. I’ll still be reviewing all the metal I can get my greedy hands on, but as my tastes include just about everything in the rock/blues spectrum, I thought i’d broaden my reviewing horizons to include things other than just metal.